All Under One Roof

...has been a great disappointment. I actually went to bed last night thinking that i would see things in a different light to yesterday and no joke, from the second i opened my eyes i felt like sh*t. I know i don't make things easier for myself by lying in bed all day but seriously, i don't know what else to do. I so want to feel "normal" with a "normal" life and a "normal" way of processing thoughts and feelings. I know all to well that the way i deal with my emotions and such is way beyond how the average human being would deal with it in the same situation but i don't know any differently. I can't just 'get on with things' It just takes real time... something that i don't have on my side at the moment. I'm due in for a staff meeting on Tuesday where I'll be introduced as the new Assistant Manager but i can't focus at all. I've got a hundred and one things to do next week that urgently require my undivided attention but all i really want is for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. In short, i feel awful and the only reason i actually bothered getting up today was to deliver some stuff to my dads otherwise i really wouldn't have bothered.

Things just don't look too rosie in Camp Selena.

All i need is a hug, to not feel so so alone and someone to tell me everythings going to be OK, even if it's a beautiful lie, i don't care, lie to me.

And just to top it off I've got stomach pains again.... the same as last week.

Someone up there must really hate me!




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